EUGENE :D

I dare not think of you because my heart keeps going towards you. I DARE NOT love you because you are way beyond the average girl- to me that is.

I MUST MUST MUST not think of you anymore! But you are on my mind every day and night. I try to NOT think that I have any feelings for you because if I know that if I like you, I doubt you’ll ever like me too.

It’s a glass ceiling I suppose. Like and friends are totally 2 different things. I CANNOT like you because I do not want to lose a friend. Yet… IF you were mine, things would be soooooooo lovely. ARGHHHH.

Why did I have to like you? I tried not to, you know. IM TRYING STILL =DD But arghhh…. Your smile just lights me up. The look in your eyes are dazzling, the twinkle and sparkle of your eyes just fills my whole being with such delight and joy. GRRR….

I finally let her go (CHEERS!) But why each time, I have to like someone else?! Why cant I be a normal person who dosent like anyone for the while?! ARGHHH… WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?! First it was her 6-7 months back. Took me a whole 5 months to get her out of my mind.. Then, came a bitch who wasnt worth shit. Then now, its you whom I lust, thirst and desire for.

Please don’t let me like you anymore because I DONT WANT TO! I DON’T WANT to love and IM NOT READY TO LOVE YET! :X

Living in someone’s shadow

Did you ever think of the consequences before you made that irreversible decision? NO. Did you think of anyone else but yourself when you decided? NO. Did you take into consideration the advice of others before deciding? Apparently not.

So well done EUGENE QUEK. You made a decision which is totally unplanned and unwise! Unwise would be a better word to describe it. I was too impulsive, rash, when I made that decision. And this decision, good or bad, has to stick through with me now. DO I regret making that decision back then? I guess not. No. I felt that at that point of time, given the circumstances, I had made the right, more so, even considered BEST decision. However, looking back, if I knew and could foretell the future, I would have chosen differently.

But then again, Life is supposed to have regrets. Regrets for us to learn and pick ourselves back up from we fall. I suppose I need to start realising what’s important and what’s not important to me anymore.

I shouldnt be looking back on past decisions, thinking how I could have changed things. :X

Now looking back, I smile through my memories. Things that shouldnt have happened, happened. Things which I am unable to accept has to be accepted now.

Moving forward, I only hope I can be more rational and use my brain to think instead of my butt. To make decisions which I would not regret in the near future. Okay peeps. This post is far too private. Im thinking of privating my tumblr blog!! :D

EUGENE :D

Arghh… Actually deleted the whole post I typed out. I just felt that its too personal to be published.

YOU, obviously dont appreciate what I’ve done for you. I didnt know I was bullshit all this while. Okay maybe I am to you- Im really bullshit. When I did that video for you till 3am in the morning, it was something really shallow to you. Yes, though I had an outing the next day, I still stayed up to 3am for YOU just to see the smile on your face the next morning. Never did I know that it was bullshit.

2 Months of being bullshit and shallow to someone. OMG. I finally realised what a fool I am. I am being treated as bullshit while i treated you as GOLD. And your friend said that if I have no money, I shouldn follow people and date. Well see, I may be poor but I have my pride

I MAY BE POOR BUT I CAN LOVE. Whoever says im not capable of love? Well I mean why am I typing this fucking bullshit post? Fucking wasting my bullshit time you know. I mean like hell, FUCK THE BULLSHIT.

If you think I can be calm now, Im telling you that im PISSED TO THE MAX. All because I realised how bullshit-y I am.

Yes, I may not be perfect but Im definitely able to love and someone wouldnt find me a bullshit.

Eugene :X

FUCKING BULLSHIT MAN. BULLSHIT>:<

Hellooooo. Im just trying it out. Looks kinda fun too ;)